Motivation to get through the weekend.

Goethe:
Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.

Motivation to get through the weekend.

Lee Iacocca
You've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It's called perseverance

Motivation to get through the weekend.

Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.

Ralph Marston

Motivation to get through the weekend.

You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be

David Viscott

Motivation to get through the weekend.

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Eleanor Roosevelt.

Motivation to get through the weekend.

It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up.

Vince Lombardi

Motivation to get through the weekend.

Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can.

Unknown

Weigh In...

246.2

I start walking with my best friend tomorrow. Still trying to get over that water hurdle. I just can't seem to jump it. Dr Pepper and other sodas just taste to good. I know from experience though that once I stop drinking them, I will lose the taste for them. I just have to find the will to quit.

I am waiting on test results from my doctor visit on Thursday. I had my cholesterol, thyroid and blood sugar tested.

Motivation to get through the weekend.

If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end.

Julius Erving

Weekend in Review, Monday weigh in

So I did ok this weekend, I did indulge in some halloween candy last night, but I walked SO much on Saturday trick or treating with the kids, then yesterday did a small photo shoot that had me up and down a ladder repeatedly- so that burned some calories right? Lets see....

Last Monday's weight: 244.6

Todays weight: 246.2

I'm blaming this on the fact that my "monthly visitor" is now 9 days late, and I'm sure I'm retaining water like a dam. I'm going to do my best NOT to get discouraged. I can do this, I can do this! It will be my mantra.

Motivation to get through the weekend.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
Mark Twain

Websites, Programs, etc etc etc.

There is an awesome FREE weight loss website available. If you don't know about it already its www.sparkpeople.com
It really is a great site, but for me, in the past hasn't worked. However, I think its because I tried to join 3 or 4 groups right off the bat and joined several challenges, and got overwhelmed. I joined again, and am just concentrating on tracking my food, and I joined one group. It doesn't seem to be a very active one right now either, so that may be a good thing for me.

Weight Watchers. Weight watchers works, I know for some people. My mom and dad lost a lot of weight on WW. I don't have the money for it. And again, the online version, have to have the time daily, several times a day to log everything you eat. I might do well with the meetings, but I don't have the time or transportation to get to a weekly meeting even if I had the money.

I will not give up...

I stepped on the scale for the first time since Monday. It says I have gained 3 pounds.
I'm not going to give up, I'm going to do it this time. I know what I need to be doing, so I just need to do it.
Today I vow to:

Move more than sit
Drink all my water!!!!
Give myself an affirmation each time I look in the mirror.

Baby steps

I love dr Pepper. Love it, love it love it. I could drink it all day every day. In the spirit of being frank, a few days ago, I drank nearly an entire 2 liter myself. In one day.

I think baby steps are important. In anything. But especially lifestyle changes.
At least for me they are. For me if I try to change everything all at once I get overwhelmed and burn out quickly. So instead of hitting the gym every day, switching to whole grains, drinking only water, and training for a marathon RIGHT NOW! , I'm cutting out soda. Sticking to water maybe tea for dinner. I know from past experience this will make a huge difference in and of itself.
But since the other people in the house love soda, and buy it often, it will be a challenge.

This me. In all my Glory.

I don't take pictures of my body. Because while I feel skinny sometimes, I know I'm not. I stick to pictures of my face. With my head perfectly angled to disguise the double chin. But for the purposes of self motivation, and being completely frank as promised, here I am. Pictures taken with a self timer. In a secluded room. With the blinds shut.
I'll take more in a month, in fact I'm marking my calendar to remind me.
I know today is Tuesday, but I weighed in yesterday and will normally be posting my weight on Mondays.
I weighed in yesterday at 244.6. Not quiet my highest all time weight of 254, but close.

Tuesday October 27th.

I caved yesterday. I drank soda. But guess what? Now we're all out. I talked to Jen about weight, and how disappointed I am in myself for gaining this weight back. She agreed that we need to stop drinking so much soda. I'm very happy that we are on the same page.
I did good at dinner yesterday, we had baked potatoes with ground meat and fixings. I had one, with maybe half a cup of ground meat, and about half of the sour cream and cheese that I normally would have eaten.

This morning I got up, showered, did my makeup and got dressed to shoes before even taking the kids to school. It makes a huge difference in how I feel. I didn't weigh in this morning. I'm going to give myself a while before the obssesive weighing every day starts in. I may not ever allow myself to weigh every day. But I will be weighing in again on Monday. Maybe if I work real hard, and love the water, I will see a difference. Even a small one- I'll be happy.

Today I'm making myself a big glass of water and going upstairs to organize and clean a bit. I'm having tuna cassarole for lunch again and Aaron is making jambalaya for dinner.

My goal for the day: WATER!!!!!!

Monday's Diary.

Its 10:23 am. I haven't eaten or had anything to drink today. I have however gone up and down the stairs at least 5 times this morning. I know its bad, but I'm going to skip breakfast and eat an early lunch then put Matthew down for his nap. There is so much soda in the house. When we have soda I drink it like I should be drinking water. I'm going to try to resist.

Its 11:22 and I just finished lunch. I had leftover tuna cassarole. Its so good, even leftover. There's a 2 liter of sunkist calling to me. I want some so bad. I'm thinking about having a small cup, then I wonder if I'll hate myself after. Bought some bottled water yesterday, left it in the car thats not here right now. Not very happy at the moment.

12:24pm- I started to eat a piece of chocolate cake. It didn't taste good, I didn't want it. So I didn't finish it. I poured myself a glass of sunkist, thats what I wanted. It tasted so good. I made a choice, so I'm also making the choice to beat myself up over it. Its a process, and changing my habits isn't going to happen overnight.

On again, off again, who the heck is in my mirror?!

I could start this blog by giving you the same song and dance you normally hear on dieting blogs. I've been overweight most my life, blah blah blah. Yes, its true, but what really struck me is how I FEEL!
That's why I'm starting this blog.
You can read all about me on the side bar, but this is about the why I'm journaling like this now.
I'm going to be frank here. I'll be blunt and vulnerable. Writing is my therapy, it calms me, and allows me to put things in perspective.

So here I am. I don't feel FAT! I get up in the morning, I get dressed, fix my hair, put on my makeup and feel good. Then there are those moments like this past weekend. Saturday at a Halloween carnival there were pictures taken.

I look at that picture and wonder why it does not reflect how I feel. I felt good that night. I felt cute, and sexy. I didn't feel fat. Yesterday was the same way, I got dressed in some cute fall clothes that I forgot I had, and we all went to the mall. I walked by a full length mirror and didn't even recognize myself.
A year ago I lost 50 pounds. I've gained it back. Its embarassing, I'm disappointed in myself, and could write a lengthy list of excuses as to why. But I won't. Because it boils down to choices. Choices I made that stopped my progression of losing weight and getting healthy, and went back the other way. Life is easier this way. Eat as much as I want when I want. But I'm tired of the reflection in the mirror not matching how I feel on the inside. So here I am. Love me or hate me, I am me.